Going To Be Okay
by Anonymous Santa
Summary: Yamamoto has always been gay. Perhaps it began when a few of his baseball friends brought porn DVDs to training camp in sixth grade and he couldn't even get it up. Or maybe when he was born, he just 'was.' He knew he could only be with a man for as long as he lived and it frightened him, being what he was. But it all changed once he fell in love. 8027. Shounen-ai. Fluff. Oneshot.


Yamamoto had only told three people he was gay in his whole entire life.

He didn't know when he realized he liked guys. Maybe it began when he was asked to pick a female partner by the teacher during kindergarten and he had immediately latched onto a boy. Perhaps it was the time when a few of his baseball friends brought porno DVDs at training camp in sixth grade, and he couldn't even get it up (while a few of his friends sported several embarrassing erections). Or maybe, the moment he was born, he just was.

But needless to say, he _knew_.

He knew he could only be with a man for as long as he lived.

Girls never interested him in the least. He would always politely decline once someone came up to him and confessed their feelings. It wasn't as if he was disgusted by them—no, in fact, he had a few female friends in school. He just didn't think he be happy even if he said yes. He always refused.

There was that time in seventh grade, when the school's idol publicly declared her crush for him. She was very confident and outgoing, and she was also extremely beautiful. She had marched towards his seat with determination, and slammed down her hands onto his desk, her face grinning slightly. Then she had simply said it as if it were an order.

"Go out with me."

He merely stared at her, unable to believe it. His friends hooted from behind him, and clapped him on the back encouragingly. He merely sat on his chair, motionless.

Her eyes were still dancing with triumph when he smiled back at her.

"I'm sorry. But I can't."

Her face dropped down into a crushing frown.

And that was that.

She had rushed out of the classroom, face red and tear-eyed, and several girls followed after her in worry as they shot nasty glances towards him. Yamamoto wondered if he had somehow wounded her pride. He glanced around at the room of people gawking at him, and then he turned away, uncaring of what they thought of the scene.

If he didn't want to go out with her, then that was his choice. They had no right to tell him he couldn't do anything. He had just rejected the female idol of the seventh grade, and he didn't even mind in the least.

One of his best friends even joked about it.

"Man, how could you turn down someone like her?" His friend laughed as the two of them sat alone on the rooftop, "Did you see her face? Oh god—you're so damn lucky to have her like you. If she had confessed to me, I'd have definitely said yes!"

He had stared Yamamoto down, grinning broadly at him, "You must be crazy, Takeshi! What, are you gay?" That question had struck him hard. Shocked, he froze on the spot. The other boy was still laughing, and shaking his head, calling him strange.

"Yes, I am."

It had slipped out of his lips before he could even stop himself. His twelve year old self clapped a hand over his mouth, mortified and scared of what he had just said. He tried to think of something to say, to possibly deny his words—to take it back and laugh it away like he usually did.

But then his friend simply smiled at him and he knew it was going to be okay.

It wasn't until freshman year did he truly come out of the closet.

He was aimlessly pacing back and forth in front of his father's sushi counter, mind cluttered and indecisive. Mr. Yamamoto was humming an unknown tune as he fried their dinner on the stove, sweating slightly from the swirling heat. It was a Sunday night; the shop was deserted, and had already closed for the day. Yamamoto watched his dad for a while, as he moved across the kitchen with experienced feet. He swallowed hard, fists clenched at his sides, his stomach curling uncomfortably.

And then he couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm gay!" He had screamed it the top of his lungs, startling his father who nearly dropped the frying pan. He was breathing hard as he stared directly into his father's eyes, insides churning uneasily at the thought of being unwanted and hated for being what he was—of being disowned by the person who had raised him.

But then his father just smiled at him, and he knew it was going to be okay.

His life after that event was bright. He had played baseball as he always did, his friend and father hadn't treated him any differently, and he was the star of his sport's team. He enjoyed the next year if his life, deeming ninth grade to be the best time he ever had. Everyone enjoyed his company and he had even befriended the girl who had confessed to him years ago. He loved his life then, and he wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world.

But it all changed once he fell in love.

Tenth grade had only just started, when Yamamoto was assigned into a new class. It was the only time he had ever had the famous Dame-Tsuna in his homeroom, and it surprised him how utterly breathtaking the boy was. Tsuna was a little on the short side, but had a very slim body that seemed to be buried under the oversized school uniform. He had large doe-like eyes that furiously blinked back tears when bullies decided to crowd around him. His hair was a puffy and stuck up in all directions, framing his heart-shaped face perfectly. Yamamoto didn't think he had ever seen anything so adorable.

And so he had walked up to him. The look on the boy's face was startled, as if he couldn't believe someone like the baseball player was talking to him. Yamamoto grinned at him in a friendly manner, and started a light conversation. They talked, and talked, and talked.

It only continued from then.

They became inseparable. They walked to school in the morning, they ate lunch together, and they stayed by each other's side until it was time to go home. Even then, Yamamoto made it a point to walk him safely back to his house. Tsuna was intriguing in both his personality and his physical aspects. He was actually a deep thinker and would speak to Yamamoto about how he saw the world, and the other enjoyed every second of it.

He loved him. It was as simple as that.

A year later, Yamamoto found himself seated on the foot of his bed beside Tsuna, facing the television. They each had a pair of controllers in their hands, as they eagerly clicked away, both fixated onto the large display screen.

The brunet then threw up his hands in utter defeat, "Ah! God, I can never beat you at this!" He pouted cutely, as he dropped his controller onto the floor, and dove onto the bed, hugging a pillow to his chest. Yamamoto merely chuckled at his antics, pausing the game as he reached over for his half-empty can of soda.

"You just need more practice," he shrugged, sipping his drink, as he stood up as well, and sat himself right by Tsuna's feet. The boy was faced down onto Yamamoto's bed, groaning his defeat, "Want to play another round?" He inquired softly, ignoring the small increase of his heart rate at the close proximity of their bodies. Well, it wasn't as if he hadn't touched the other before. He had once been pressed against Tsuna as they shielded themselves from the rain in front of a closed convenience store—but it was just the fact that they were on top of a _bed_ that he was having strange thoughts.

Tsuna raised himself onto a sitting position, as he shook his head, "Mm... no. I'm no good at that game. Let's play later." A yawn escaped him, "I'm kinda sleepy... It's getting a little late." He stretched his arms up, the bones in his back popping. His shirt had risen slightly to reveal quite a bit of his stomach.

Yamamoto swallowed nervously, "Oh. Yeah. My father keeps the futon in the hallway cabinet. Want me to get it?"

"No... Let's just sleep here together."

He didn't know what to do or how to reply to that.

So he simply hopped off the bed to throw away his soda can and the packets of junk food scattered on the floor. His body moved awkwardly as he swept up the trash into his hands, feeling utterly self conscious and stiff. He could feel a pair of eyes trained onto his back.

"Yamamoto, come over here."

He jumped slightly, before he had turned around to see Tsuna standing up to walk over to him, his bare feet padding onto the carpet. He moved until he was only inches away from Yamamoto, who was holding his breath, "I just noticed this. It's only been a year but... When did you get so tall?" Tsuna squinted at him hard as he raised a hand to show their height difference, "What do you drink to grow so much?"

There was a lump in his throat, and he couldn't take his eyes away from the other's eyes. "Well... I drink milk every day..." he answered numbly.

Tsuna's face grinned up at him in wonder, "Oh, really? I should tell mom to buy me some—"

And Yamamoto had swooped down to capture the brunet's lips.

It was quick and soft, and he didn't even think about the consequences until after he pulled away. Tsuna looked up at him in complete shock, face exploding into a blazing red all the way up to his ears. He raised a trembling hand to his mouth, taking an involuntary step back. Silence had ensued afterwards, and unsettling emotions were bottling up inside the both of them.

"I-I'll be back."

Unable to take it, the baseball player excused himself to quickly get the futon. When he came back into the room to lay it down onto the floor, Tsuna couldn't keep his gaze away from him—he stood there at the same spot as the boy had left him, still staring.

"Ya... Yamamoto..." He stuttered quietly, fingers fidgeting nervously with the hem of his shirt, "Are you... gay?"

The athlete had turned his face away slightly to stare at the peeling wallpaper instead. He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, trying to prolong his need to reply. His face was tinted with a slight flush. When he answered, his mouth felt extremely dry, "...Yes. I am." He had said it. He finally had. He was now prepared for Tsuna to run away in utter disgust, and call him a nasty name. He was prepared to be shoved away—to have the love of his life run out of his door at full speed, and to have his heart broken.

But then Tsuna had simply smiled at him, and he knew everything would be okay.

* * *

**[A/N]: Only a short one shot. I tried to make the writing as simple as possible, considering that it was Yamamoto that was the focus of the story. This idea just came to my head and I had to write about it. It's a weird story, I know, and I should really be working on Out of Sight, Out of Mind, but I wanted to post this first.**


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